Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
