I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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