I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
