im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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