That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
