when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
