listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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