9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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