I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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