week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
