i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i came on her dog
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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