WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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