My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
