K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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