how can u be prego again
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
