I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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