How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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