This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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