"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
