whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
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Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
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I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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