the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
