So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
