Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize