dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
MIDGETS
????
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
