i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
