I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i dont even know how to be here
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
