I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
