OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
