Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
