When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
