Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
