Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
