"it" just moved
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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