I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
