you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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