my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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