Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
