U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
