Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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