ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
