So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
