drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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