So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
