Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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