yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
