I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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