I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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