girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
