please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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