I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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