dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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