if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
