break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
