You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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