a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
