this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
