How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
