I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
