This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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