Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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