i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You took a bar mat shot.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
