he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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