he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
