Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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