i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We're too hungover to prance.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
