wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
