I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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