oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I believe in your delicious
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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