my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
