I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
