allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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