Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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